Buddha Never Worked A Crowd

never stayed on message

          when talking to the troops

couldn't even mouth a sound bite

          at a phony photo-op

wouldn't earn 500 hundred times

          as much as a simple follower

never told the other pilgrims

          they must be with him or against him

never had his hair styled

          or dressed down just for the cameras

never chased a ball around in a little cart

          on an expensive moonscape of artificial green

didn't owe expensive favors

          to those who paid his way to the top

never funded greasy politicians

          to gain a seat on policy control boards

had no fancy offices or other executive perqs

          or confused an empty life with a meaningless corporate work

never watched the markets

          or bond interest rates

didn't smoke cigars with cronies

          or exchange insider tips

never clawed himself to the top

          putting knives in others backs

couldn't push a sponsored agenda

          or work a friendly crowd

never smelled of aftershave

          and owned no tailored clothes

hadn't even one new car

          nor a single second home

never slashed jobs and benefits and pensions

          to haul off another surreal & unearned bonus

couldn't pump bad stock to chumps

          while dumping all his own

never spread fear among the people

          just to quiet unfavorable revelations

didn't combine government with business

          into a cozy ruling class

had no statements for reporters

          and prepared no press releases

couldn't fly for free across the country

          to read another speech he did not write

never cast artificial doubt on the work of others

          creating more confusion just to stall for time

didn't lie awake at night

          plotting strategies against his greedy foes

had no use for fat and cheesy spokesmen

          or media damage control scenarios

never imagined himself saying

          that god was on their side

never made a corporate fortune

          lying to and stealing from investors

wouldn't call for spending cuts

          while sending wasted pork back home

didn't pay out lavish settlements

          while denying any guilt or involvement

had no phony spin doctors

          pushing hype to the crowds

couldn't disinform using bald-faced lies

          in the name of national security

never changed positions

          based upon the opinion polls

didn't create false pretexts

          to make war for natural resources

had no need for slanted position papers

          or industry think tank support

was not unable to admit to big mistakes

          did not sleep better for a blind faith in some god’s will

did not preach the rule of law even while grabbing power

          had no need of makeup during a homey video chat

was not recorded sounding stupid and transparent

          while mouthing other’s explanations

never made decisions first

          and then tried to twist up evidence to match

could not deal with big donors or true believers

          his greatest skill was not raising political contributions

did not place his career in the hands of venal strategizers

          had no need to spy upon either friend or foe

crafted no cosmetic advertising images with an eye to voting blocs

          never talked in code phrases to assuage his scowling mullahs

had no private jet in which to survey great disasters

          could not conceive of a lifetime as an elected official

never called by their first name those that he had never met

          was not posed with working people just to culture an image

did not artificially morph from foolish incompetent to elder statesman

          had no rehearsed QandA sessions made to look spontaneous

was unable to sacrifice heart and soul to his ambition

          did not have to act normal despite monumental guilt

never made war upon the earth while praying to some fuzzy heaven

Thank You Corporate Fathers

thank you agribusiness for this thy bounty which we are about to mindlessly consume

          thank you for genetically modifying our wheat and our corn

only so that yield per acre might temporarily be marginally increased

thank you our petro-chemical paters in whose wisdom

          we spray on poisons that insects quickly evolve and overcome

but whose effects are magnified in our children for generations yet unborn

thank you dear corporate families

          for turning agriculture into a modern production industry

for bringing mass production to bear upon our infant’s diet

thank you dedicated chemists for your colorings and preservatives

          thank you for a shippable red tomato with no taste at all

and thank you so much for eradicating those non-producing songbirds

thank you pig farm operators for poisoning our ground water

          and forcing our porcine relatives to live and die without dignity

and thank you for producing super bugs by overusing antibiotics

thank you feedlot owners for making beef so tender

          through the force feeding of expensive and indigestible grain

to all those peaceful cattle enduring their multi-generational holocaust

thank you slaughterhouse operators for hiding all but the awful smell

          that we might fear no violence, blood or abuse

thank you for supplying McDonald's so cheaply and efficiently

thank you wonderful managers who captain all industries just the same

          for ridding us of those inefficient family farmers

and measuring the worth of irreplaceable croplands via your firm’s quarterly stock price

thank you corporate science for blessing us with genetically modified food

          for scattering it wide in our fields with utter ignorance of its effects

thank you for experimenting directly with nature, on our food supply

thank you dear snack food industry for giving me what I want

          for researching tasty combinations of sugar, salt and saturated fat

thank you helping me die young, obese, hypertensive and diabetic

thank you honored fast food industry for increasing my greasy portions

          of your ultra high fat french fries

thank you for all of the paper and plastic I have been able to throw on the ground

thank you clever chemists for providing color chips to salmon growers

          we marvel at unsustainable, meticulously measured, pelletized food

thank you for killing the few wild fish left with your dreadful farmed sea lice

thank you brave restaurant conglomerates for emptying the seas

          for making us feel safe while eating food stripped of its soul

thank you for caring more about your ROI than what you are serving us

thank you far-seeing industry leaders for laying us off to reduce expenses

          for sending our jobs overseas and cutting out our benefits

thank you for slashing our retirement and 'earning' huge yearly bonuses

thank you industry mavens who pumped stocks to chumps before dumping their own,

          who enjoyed IPO favors and reciprocal agreements

thank you for consistently under-performing yet always taking a bigger cut

thank you vapid salesmen forever pumped up on greed

          whose wonders of life are new clothes, cars, boats and jewelry

thank you for promoting useless goods and thoughtlessly wasting finite resources

thank you attention-seeking politician, part actor, part suckup and part inveterate liar

          you peddle influence and favors and strike deals behind closed doors

thank you for the brilliant merger of government with business and industry

thank you slick media moguls, you succeed by modeling us as ignorant sheep

          then targeting us with your mindless slick form over substance

thank you and I wipe my ass with your contribution to intellectual property

thank you frightened and tired little managers everywhere for thinking quite alike

          making a living spending all of your time getting on the same page

thank you for never being able to hide your desperate eagerness to please

thank you revered advertising gurus who hammered home any message

          until it penetrated our skulls and became part of our lives

you should be put away and tortured with your own empty propaganda   

thank you oh brave government and business partnership, for making

          it cheaper to rip up untouched land than to renew your own decayed developments

you are living examples to us all of our sacred traditional values in action

thank you hard-working spin doctors of each and every foul stripe

          your ministrations are useful in all types of situations

thank you for being there to nurture our revered democratic process

thank you great, rich and powerful corporate shamans

          for your wondrous  and wise vision of a truly homogenized world

where we all eat the same food, hear the same radio and watch the same tv

thank you purveyors of what you call news

          19 minutes an hour of louder lies called commercials

then, of course, there's all-important Corporate Sports, Entertainment and the Hollywood News

thank you clever real estate developers and hungry, opportunistic salesmen

          growing rich because we let you tear the very face right off our lands

selling us our dreams and walking away as the bulldozers move in next door

thank you gallant entrepreneurs charging bravely forward

          fueled by noble greed, cutting expenses and slashing at red tape

you need not worry for this hatred is not personal, as this is strictly business

thank you magnificent recording industry leaders

          protecting the sacred rights of performing artists that you screwed

maintaining your vicious strangleholds by prosecuting your very customers

thank you doughty middle-aged female mid-level managers

          we are blessed to have witnessed your power and your wisdom

luckily for the future, you had more time for your family than you allowed for your work

thank you dedicated corporate outsourcers, bravely exporting decent jobs

          paying out but ten percent but charging at least fifty

and adding absolutely nothing of value to either side of the transaction

thank you visionary cable television magnates

          you gave us 300 specialty channels all aimed at the average 6th grader

each one targeting a niche market with matching commercials in mind

thank you wise and holy corporate fathers, we honor your spiritual quest

          we hope that you will share the cosmic vision you have been granted

we anxiously await the news of your death outside the walls of your locked compounds