Buddha Never Worked A Crowd

never stayed on message

          when talking to the troops

couldn't even mouth a sound bite

          at a phony photo-op

wouldn't earn 500 hundred times

          as much as a simple follower

never told the other pilgrims

          they must be with him or against him

never had his hair styled

          or dressed down just for the cameras

never chased a ball around in a little cart

          on an expensive moonscape of artificial green

didn't owe expensive favors

          to those who paid his way to the top

never funded greasy politicians

          to gain a seat on policy control boards

had no fancy offices or other executive perqs

          or confused an empty life with a meaningless corporate work

never watched the markets

          or bond interest rates

didn't smoke cigars with cronies

          or exchange insider tips

never clawed himself to the top

          putting knives in others backs

couldn't push a sponsored agenda

          or work a friendly crowd

never smelled of aftershave

          and owned no tailored clothes

hadn't even one new car

          nor a single second home

never slashed jobs and benefits and pensions

          to haul off another surreal & unearned bonus

couldn't pump bad stock to chumps

          while dumping all his own

never spread fear among the people

          just to quiet unfavorable revelations

didn't combine government with business

          into a cozy ruling class

had no statements for reporters

          and prepared no press releases

couldn't fly for free across the country

          to read another speech he did not write

never cast artificial doubt on the work of others

          creating more confusion just to stall for time

didn't lie awake at night

          plotting strategies against his greedy foes

had no use for fat and cheesy spokesmen

          or media damage control scenarios

never imagined himself saying

          that god was on their side

never made a corporate fortune

          lying to and stealing from investors

wouldn't call for spending cuts

          while sending wasted pork back home

didn't pay out lavish settlements

          while denying any guilt or involvement

had no phony spin doctors

          pushing hype to the crowds

couldn't disinform using bald-faced lies

          in the name of national security

never changed positions

          based upon the opinion polls

didn't create false pretexts

          to make war for natural resources

had no need for slanted position papers

          or industry think tank support

was not unable to admit to big mistakes

          did not sleep better for a blind faith in some god’s will

did not preach the rule of law even while grabbing power

          had no need of makeup during a homey video chat

was not recorded sounding stupid and transparent

          while mouthing other’s explanations

never made decisions first

          and then tried to twist up evidence to match

could not deal with big donors or true believers

          his greatest skill was not raising political contributions

did not place his career in the hands of venal strategizers

          had no need to spy upon either friend or foe

crafted no cosmetic advertising images with an eye to voting blocs

          never talked in code phrases to assuage his scowling mullahs

had no private jet in which to survey great disasters

          could not conceive of a lifetime as an elected official

never called by their first name those that he had never met

          was not posed with working people just to culture an image

did not artificially morph from foolish incompetent to elder statesman

          had no rehearsed QandA sessions made to look spontaneous

was unable to sacrifice heart and soul to his ambition

          did not have to act normal despite monumental guilt

never made war upon the earth while praying to some fuzzy heaven