I've Got Another Useless Meeting

I've got a meeting now so I can find out what they think the vendor said

so I will catch you later once we get the knife planted firmly in your backs

I'm headed to a meeting to get us all on the same page once again

I am a great communicating, over-complicating, facilitating whore

I'm all booked up with meetings now, so regretfully I can no longer do any real work

I report upon my meetings and we all stake out our positions going forward

I just came from a meeting and we must leap as if to some real action

your asses are all hanging out but I have heroically bought us a little time

I cannot let you go forward until after next week’s meeting

they want to get a consultant's take before they’ll be ready to commit

I called another meeting to re-review that which I will never understand

I must get my boss' sign-off or she could have my ass

I'm scheduling a meeting now because that is what I do so I can look as if I'm useful

I will adopt another's perspective but I can assure you that I remain on your side

I'm blocking out some time to meet about another topic about which I have no clue

So you must tell me what to tell my boss to tell the field to tell the customers

I'm late for my next meeting so I don't have time to discuss this issue

But I will ask around enough behind your back to parrot back some nonsense

I've got a ten o'clock right now that I can use to evade your probing questions

let's touch base again when I've had a chance to cover up my ass

I've got another overview review meeting, we still cannot get our story straight

once engineering dumbs it down enough, we can all get on the message

I'm off to a meeting, they all take precedence over what is on your mind

I will bring back your action items and our thoughts on moving forward

I'm preparing for this meeting, I must give a presentation

I am being stuffed with buzzwords which I can usually spell but not explain

I'm chairing a committee that will hold a set of meetings

the participants either already know the outcome or will never have a clue

I'm setting up a meeting between us and your offshore replacements

you will need to provide them training or you will get no severance

I'm sitting through another meeting, fighting to appear to be awake

I like to say I wish I still had time to get face-down in some real task

I'm going to present the results of another meeting to some department heads

they will distort this down to their direct reports and we will call it work

I'm lining up all the important players for a real brainstorming session

We’ll craft a co-operative solution that won’t satisfy any one of us, especially you

I’ve got a meeting right now but I will get back to you on this real soon

I’ll fill you in on the takeaway along with what they left upon your plates